Sunday, August 31, 2008

Journalists Gleeful About Discovery of New Word

Even journalists can’t resist a trend. Like most Americans, journalists don't want to be left behind while the train of American culture speeds past.

The latest journalistic fad appears to be the use of a certain word when describing anything political, especially if it has something to do with Republicans. I'll let you figure out the mystery word from the following links.

The Wall Street Journal
Republicans Gleefully Woo Clinton Backers

AFP
Republicans gleefully mock ‘temple of Obama’

The Telegraph
How Joe Biden can help Barrack Obama win the presidential election
"But it has already been wheeled out gleefully by Mr McCain's camp, who used it to attack Mr Biden within hours of him being named as as Mr Obama's vice-president."

New York Daily News
Rudy Giuliani comes to VP pick Sarah Palin's defense
"Having spent part of last week in Denver, where he gleefully lobbed shots at the Democrats' convention, Giuliani picked up the ball yesterday by contrasting Palin's 20 months as governor with Obama and Biden's experience in the legislative branch."

CNN
McCain camp mocks Obama's comment on inflated tires
"Mark Salter, a top adviser to John McCain, gleefully distributed tire pressure gauges to McCain’s traveling press corps on Monday morning, a sight gag meant to mock Barack Obama’s remark last week that “making sure your tires are properly inflated” could help conserve gasoline."

AP
Today on the presidential campaign trail
“The McCain camp gleefully raked through the Democratic primary archives to find Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton archly questioning Obama's forthrightness. Clinton's comments ended up featured in a new ad produced by the McCain campaign.”

Politico
Republicans jump fast on 'Freudian slip'
"Mere minutes after Joe Biden wrapped up his maiden speech as Barack Obama's running mate, McCain's camp and the RNC gleefully seized upon what they called a "Freudian slip" in Obama's introduction."

The Kansas City Star
Biden helps heal divided Democratic Party
"Hunter, 38, already has been a Republican target. He's a Washington corporate lobbyist, and the Republican Party is gleefully reminding voters that Obama rails against lobbyists."

The Detroit News
McCain picks Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as running mate
'Despite Hillary Clinton's failure to get onto the Democratic ballot, Palin said gleefully, "It turns out the women of America aren't finished yet and we can shatter that glass ceiling once and for all.”'

Although I found a few articles about Democrats, they apparently don't get gleeful as often as us conservatives.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Democrats Announce Windfall Profit Tax Bill

Democrats Announce Windfall Profit Tax Bill

Washington D.C. (PRSN) - At a last-minute press conference on the steps of the Capitol building, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced a new bill being introduced today by House Democrats.

“It was recently announced that the latest Batman movie, ‘The Dark Knight’, has earned $400 million since its release on July 18,” said Pelosi, looking stunning in a white Chanel blouse and Christian Dior blazer. “This type of windfall profit at the expense of the American taxpayer is avarice, pure and simple.”

“‘The Dark Knight’ only cost $180 million to make and has produced revenues in excess of $400 million,” explained bill co-sponsor Jim McDermott (D-WA). “That implies a profit margin of 122%, which is totally unacceptable.”

Presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, Barack Obama, has verbally endorsed the bill.

“If elected President, I will pursue legislation to tax the windfall profits of the greedy Hollywood movie industry and return the money to the people who need it the most – the American worker,” he announced while campaigning today in Elkhart, Indiana. “$400 million in 20 days? That works out to, um, well, like, $20 million per day. For a movie!”

If passed, the bill would allow the federal government to liberate up to $200 million in windfall "Dark Knight" profits which would be returned to working-class voters as a tax rebate.

According to statistics compiled by the National Association of Theater Owners, average U.S. movie ticket prices have increased from $5.39 in 2000 to $6.88 in 2007.

“Under the so-called leadership of the Bush administration and a Republican Congress, we have seen movie ticket prices increase 27.6 percent,” added Obama, his sonorous voice ringing from the auditorium rafters during a town-hall meeting in Elkhart. “This type of crony capitalism cannot continue. We are the people we’ve been waiting for. We must change the established culture of Washington. The time for change is now.”

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(PRSN = Phantom Republican Satire Network)